I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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