she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
