You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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