Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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