this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
