Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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