so explain again why im purple
no
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
