I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
