i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
