So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
BRING THE BAGELS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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