It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
