I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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