so that wasnt chicken after all
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't deserve a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
