This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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