You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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