I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
