So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We have so much sex to catch up on
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
