we're blogging at a bar
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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