chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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