I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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