and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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