My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
