That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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