i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize