Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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