Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
