yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
