Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
