so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize