I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
