Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize