Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
