Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish you could order shots online.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
