Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
