So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
only if we run a train.
done.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
