Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
