your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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