we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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