And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
