I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
