Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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