god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize