did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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