i dedicated my morning wood to you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
