I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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