i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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