VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
