Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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