idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
