Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
