Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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