my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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