So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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