your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
