i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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