Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
