Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
