It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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