can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
