Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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